The Nerd: At first there's a pattern. It clobbers the lion. It's pointless because once you're there, you're stuck. Well, let's take a look at the whole replay and see what happened. In 2004, James Rolfe finished college. Child Singer: Moses and me, we've got a choice to make. I think that would actually make them more angry. Maybe ninjas were too violent, and Elvis' devilish rock 'n' roll was too much for a religious game. The most obscured game of the bunch would have to be Super Noah's Ark 3D. Okay, you're a hand tryin' to grab falling fish and throw 'em up into a floating basket. The Nerd: What other first-person shooter game do you get to play as Noah? It's just a bunch of poopy diarrhea doo-doo ass shit. The Nerd: Also, there's hidden bonus stages. Even the graphics kinda remind me of it. It's kinda like Mario Paint but really hard to control. That's the wrong answer, so that obviously means it's something they made up. In fact, it is Wolfenstein 3D. In each episode, the Nerd reviews a terrible video game and rants about it using profane language.Mike Matei helps Rolfe by playing guest characters in certain episodes (Bugs Bunny, The Joker, etc. You're goin' in the ark. Oh, okay, it's got some Bible verses thrown in. I really hate those springs, all I'm trying to do is go down and to right but I can't make it! That's where this game belongs, in the fuckin' garbage! The Nerd: Welcome to another sacrilegious Christmas fuck-fest! The only way to have any fun at all is to throw baby Moses in the water, and then go explore the level without him. The first thing you notice is the Sing-Along. Download Avgn Desert Bus Transcript pdf. It's a flying squirrel. My only guess was it has to do with food and the Bible. This is the main game. Hmmm. (the Nerd finally did it) Finally! Watch this. (He lands on the bomb.) It doesn't even count as a rip-off. The Nerd: Alright, well, I think I'm done. Except for those chocolate cats. The Nerd: Instead of trying to rescue your girl... you're not even gonna believe this when I tell you... you're trying to get... to Sunday School. He knocked himself out with his own acorn. That's like if you were playing Monopoly and you put your face up to the game. I've got to do it! Not that easy. The Nerd: Oh my God, it's talking. (inserts the CD into the CD-i) More like livin' on a prayer! The Nerd: Okay, let's try 4Him. I guess false. Color Dreams was the company making all these unlicensed games for the NES like Captain Comic, Secret Scout, and Raid 2020. Nobody fucks with him. The Nerd: In the beginning, a game company called Wisdom Tree began producing unlicensed games for the NES. I can even pick the lion up and it doesn't care. Right off the bat, what does this game look like? Here comes Sunday Funday. Now, a lot of these questions are true or false, and once you get used to that, you tend not to look at the words true and false because you instinctively assume true always comes above false. With its weird baby-blue cartridge? Not as extreme as most instances of Nightmare Fuel, but in the Atari 5200 review, when the Nerd plugs in the system's cord, sparks come flying out, and they weren't faked! The Nerd: First, we have Moses: The Exodus. Where's the exit? And then what? Anyway, here's some Super Mario Bros outtakes that were just uploaded to Cinemassacre, and none of these are actually on any of the DVDs as far as I know. Well, just one, and it found a way. So was the Riddler in the Bible? Directed by James Rolfe. The Nerd: Look at this! Now, what was the problem with putting the questions on the screen? I mean, this is just fucking weird. I think she would die of starvation before her clothes would rot. What a shameless rip-off! You start out with three hearts for health, you hold two items, you go into a little cave and talk to someone. And animals comin' out of sewer holes? What does catching parachuting fish and throwing them up at an electric eel -- up at an electric eel -- have to do with the Bible? Trending pages Transcript of 2020 AVGN Episode The Simpsons: Bartman Meets Radioactive Man Well, that would be Mary. It's the same exact game. Batman Returns Again 6. So, unless you still have the manual, let alone have the fucking game, you're not gonna know what the questions are. What happened? Instead of shooting Nazis, he's shooting goats. Well, check this out. When I first heard the title, I just didn't get it. Well, you're on a camel; you're basically trying to ride to the end of the level. Aw, shit! Like it deliberately dodges your target. Read more and find the right contact for you Actin And Myosin Skeletal Muscle Contraction Wow. Up, down, up, down, down! I'm playing an NES game that says "Kill all babies"?! With James Rolfe, Kyle Justin. Principle photography took place in Spring of 2012, in the Los Angeles area, with Jason Brewer as the DP. It's a point-and-click game, but not a good one that actually makes you think. (The springs bounce him back, and he grunts) Awww! However, if you go past him without the sheep, he doesn't give a shit. VGFaq – Video Games Frequently Asked Questions – was born out of passion for video games. Ninjas are now kids, and these Elvis-looking guys are now plumbers. You can even use an acorn to knock the lion out. Where'd it go? The Nerd: Well, there's only one shitty game left: David and Goliath. The Nerd: All right. Now, this is really annoying because while carrying him, there's no way to defend yourself from everything that's out to kill you, and I do mean everything. What a sight. The Nerd: God, this is annoying! The last few minutes are a mini-episode about the game, obviously what we'd seen him working on throughout the video. The Making of an AVGN episode - Angry Video Game Nerd - Episode 102. Giganga 11. The Angry Video Game Nerd is an Internet series based on a fictional character, the "Nerd", created and portrayed by James D. Rolfe. Angry Video Game Nerd Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. To hold us over for now, we've got The Making Of An Angry Video Game Nerd Episode. It just sucks, and I can't even stand to play it anymore. The Nerd: The graphics are really flawed. The Nerd: Then you have the Playroom. And you know what? ("Sunday Funday", "Fishfall", "4Him") Oh, boy. How could it get any worse? Smogo 7. He derives comic appeal from excessive and inventive use of profanity, frequent displays of explicit gestures, and heavy consumption of beer, particularly Rolling Rock or Yuengling, to "soothe the pain". The Nerd: This is Super Noah's Ark 3D. He started recording and talking about the game. Please, somebody tell me. Too bad I can't jump high enough. Just watch. Bible Games is a holiday special based on the internet series The Angry Video Game Nerd. The Nerd: Your attack is so pathetic. That's disgusting, I apologize. What other game could you say, “I just threw baby Moses in the water”. He's laughing, he's got two bombs ready to blow, and... he walks away. Afterwards, he takes the game out of the Toploader. (BUHHHRRRRR) Come on, you damn sheep. It's the same thing as Exodus. It doesn't even slow him down. Snix 13. Call it whatever you want. Sheepy, sheepy. In Zelda, we have an aerial view with bushes and rocks, you start with three hearts for the health, you hold two items, you go in a little cave and talk to someone, when you walk into the next area, the screen moves, there's that square-shaped stairwell, you go down ladders with the gray stone walls, there's your raft, and when you start the game, you get to type in a name. That's made by a Christian gaming company that makes unauthorized Nintendo games? According to the Bible, Noah puts two of each animal in the ark, right? Let's check it out. ". I'm gonna blow his fucking head off. He did it all by himself by picking the animals up and carrying them in the ark? So, who knows? Oh, there he goes - Fuck. 3:23. The first time playing this, I didn't even realize what was happening. They're the first snakes you see in the game. The logs have the most erratic pattern. It's just a bunch of karaoke songs. Transcript of AVGN Episode Bible Games 2 Title card for episode. (he manages to get the enemy close to the bomb) OK, there, perfect. Then, once you get to the top, there you go. You're gonna get it. I get bounced all over the place. The Nerd: There's really nothing else worth mentioning with this game. Just look at it, all the different food-themed lands like Potato Land, Barbeque Land, Pizza Land, and Dessert Land. The AVGN (or the Angry Video Game Nerd as his full name) is a reviewer that reviews video games. Have you ever tried to lift a horse? Well, let's find out. And while you're at it, just try to punch that lion in the nuts. He moves pretty fast for an old guy. How can such an old man be so strong? The film is being produced outside the studio system, entirely funded by fan donations. (the Nerd puts the game back into the Toploader and turns it on) That plays anything. It's The Book of Genesis on Sega Genesis. But the funny thing is that it's a strangely effective way to get you to play the game because just for curiosity's sake, it makes you wonder: how much of her clothes are going to come off? Well, let's try them all. Power on, please wait 7 seconds between power on and power off"? It's just like the rock in Friday the 13th, it arcs over everybody you try to hit. AVGN was good when James and Mike could wax nostalgic in the scripts about video games they used to play growing up in the 80's. With James Rolfe. Then, just to tease you, it pops up at the bottom, crawling up the waterfall just to sit there and mock you. The Nerd: Those lions are fucking wusses. The Nerd: Later in the game, you get a weapon. The Nerd: As you can see, it looks like no other Super Nintendo game you've ever seen. It's so annoying! It's the first 5 minutes of a 20+ minute new episode. Now that's gotta be tricky, right? Whatever happened to “Thou Shall Not Kill”? (nagging lady voice) "Get your ass to Sunday School!" Who made this? He would review Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. For his first Christmas review, the Nerd decides to review a few unlicensed Bible games for the NES and Super Nintendo. This is ridiculous! The Nerd: First, let's check out Exodus: Journey to the Promised Land. (Some song lyrics appear on the screen, lighting up in time to the beat) What? Games are fun! Like, sometimes when you kill your enemies, a flying devil comes out. You have to bounce on a bunch of springs. Narrator: You've landed on Goliath's square. It just feels slippery. Damn! But no. Would you want to buy this? Now I gotcha. The Nerd: I'm surprised, this game is actually really hard. Well, it was only released in Europe, which means it's in the PAL format and it can't be played on any North American NES, unless you have the Toploader. ♪ ♪ Oh, he's makin' a list, and checkin' it twice ♪ The Nerd: Now, it looks like we got all the animals, except the snakes. You just bring them to the door, and let those bastards run in there. The Nerd: Let's do The Wise Men. So, just to show you another example, let's take a look at Spiritual Warfare on the Nintendo. (holds up the game "Joshua" for the NES) Ooh. The Nerd: Another thing that's really amazing about Noah is that he can run so fast, he can actually outrun the screen, which is really annoying because you can't see where you're going, so you have to stop to let the screen catch up. The originality just stuns me. Also, The Reveal that Board James and the Nerd are one and the same . It might as well be anything. Ugh! Now would you believe there's actually more of them? Dumb shit. (normal voice) Seriously, that's the only explanation. And you feel like you have to force everything you're doing. (Noah picks up an animal) Holy shit! (He kills a guy) Oh, God, that's so violent. As part of The 8th Annual NES Marathon Benefiting Hurricane Relief , … Oh, please. Fuck this fuckin' piece of shit! And there's lots of things you can't even touch at all, where you die instantly. Then there's a Slider Puzzle. You just pick them up? Time to flick the shit switch, turn up the diarrhea dial, it's Bible games on CD-i! Many times, I accidentally pick false when I mean to pick true. Fuck! Next up, let's try... Noah's Ark? The other two games are the same deal. You never know what's going on. I'm not gonna hurt you. But no. And when you walk into the next area, the screen moves. (Starts the game up) Okay. You'd rather listen to your only infant child puking to death, that is choking on his own puke chunks. And finally, when I get up here, it's not even worth it because there's nowhere to go. Well, at least they came up with a few original ideas. Why didn't it bounce me? UGH! The object is to bring four sheep to this blinking arrow to advance to the next level. The Nerd: The only animals that have the balls to fight back are the pigs. It doesn't help either that there's all these rocks coming down. Smogo versus Trico 9. It's actually kind of a rip-off of Super Mario Bros. 2. Just get down there! The Nerd: Remember in Bible Adventures, there were three games, and one of which was Noah's Ark, that stupid shit where you're pickin' up stacks of animals, then of course, there's the infamous Super Noah's Ark 3D, the only unlicensed Super NES game, which happens to be a clone of Wolfenstein, where you're goin' around shooting goats. (the Nerd gives the Toploader a thumbs-up). E.T. (the Nerd holds up the game cartridge for the NES) It might interest you to know that this is actually the last game ever made for the NES, and it was as late as 1995. Featuring: Bible Adventures (NES, Wisdom Tree, 1991) Bible Buffet (NES, Wisdom Tree, 1993) Super Noah's Ark 3D (SNES, Wisdom Tree, 1994) Spiritual Warfare (NES, Wisdom Tree, 1992) King of Kings (NES, Wisdom Tree, 1991) Originally aired: 22nd of December, 2006 - ScrewAttack.com. 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